


Smoke Screen

by mithrel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blanket Permission, Fallen Angels, Fallen Castiel, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Podfic Welcome, Resolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-27
Updated: 2010-03-27
Packaged: 2017-11-13 14:00:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/504264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel and Castiel lose their Grace because of a monster.  Afterwards, Gabriel lets his guard down too much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smoke Screen

Sam, Dean, Cas and Gabriel had ended up in a town with a minor demon infestation only to find that there were no demons there.

Or no _living_ demons anyway. There were several bodies which had probably been vessels, but they were dry and shriveled, as if they’d been mummified.

“Okaaay,” Dean said, staring down at the latest corpse, a woman in her thirties. “I’m guessing that’s not a good thing.”

“Ya think?” Gabriel retorted.

“Is there anything that could do this to a demon?” Sam cut their impending argument short.

He shrugged. “Some of the Elder Gods, but if there’s one of them running around you won’t have to worry about the Apocalypse. Angels wouldn’t do it, they’d just exorcise them or else stab them with their swords…shit.”

“What ‘shit’?” Dean demanded.

“It might be a visivore, in which case Cas and I need to–”

He was cut off by a piercing shriek, as not one but two creatures leapt out of hiding. They ignored Dean and Sam entirely, focusing on Cas and Gabriel.

They had leathery, wrinkled skin like old tree bark; no eyes, just gaping sockets; arms so long they nearly brushed the ground and their mouths were round sucking holes.

They fastened their mouths over the angels’, and they couldn’t seem to do anything about it, even though Gabriel at least should have been able to swat them like flies.

Dean shot his gun off, and the one going after Cas retreated. Cas slumped to the ground and Dean went to him as Sam ran towards Gabriel.

The thing looked up from Gabriel’s slumped form and growled, then it was coming at him. It fastened its mouth over his and Sam felt the latent power of the demon blood rising up and flowing out of him, along with his energy.

He struggled, but he was weakening. In a moment he’d black out…

The thing’s mouth was suddenly off him and he looked up to see Dean wrestling with it. Dean slashed at it with his knife, and the thing shrieked and fled.

His brother picked himself up, his breath gasping in and out. “Sammy, you alright?”

“Yeah,” he managed, getting up. “What the hell _were_ those things?”

“I dunno. But Gabriel did.”

Sam shot a look at Gabriel, finding him ashen-faced and unconscious on the floor. He checked for a pulse, although he wasn’t sure angels had one under normal circumstances. He was breathing, Sam realized with a surge of relief.

“How’s Cas?”

Dean’s lips thinned. “Pretty bad. We need to get ’em out of here.”

Between the two of them they somehow managed to get the two unconscious angels back to the Impala, and from there into the motel room.

***

Gabriel was floating in a sea of fluff, but it wasn’t pleasant. He didn’t know where he was, and he felt like he’d lost something important, but he couldn’t think. He struggled against the haze filling his mind, trying to remember. The hunt, the dead demons…

He woke with a cry, fighting against nothing. Hands restrained him, and the fact that they were able to only increased his panic.

“Gabriel? _Gabriel!_ ”

He finally snapped back to reality. He was lying on something soft, presumably the bed in the motel room. Someone was standing over him. “Sam?” he croaked weakly.

Sam nodded, rocking back on his heels. “What happened?”

“Oh God,” Gabriel buried his face in his hands. “The visivore…”

“What is that anyway? Other than an energy eater?”

“Just what you said,” Gabriel replied hollowly. “It’s an energy eater. Specifically, supernatural energy.”

“Your Grace–” Sam started, alarmed.

“Gone. Cas’ too, probably.” It finally sank in, and he fell back to the bed, curling up in a ball. Gone. More than a millennium as a Trickster hadn’t diminished his Grace and now it was _gone._

Sam put his arms around him, pulling him into a hug. He didn’t resist, but he didn’t react either.

“I’m cold, Sam.” And was that _his_ voice? He’d _never_ sounded like that.

“I’ll get some more blankets and make coffee.”

***

Sam pulled the blankets off the other bed (no longer in use: Cas had woken up about an hour ago) and tucked them around Gabriel, then went to the kitchenette to brew some coffee.

Cas had been shell-shocked and wouldn’t answer any questions, but he wasn’t as bad off as Gabriel. Sam supposed that made sense; he’d been falling for months now and had less Grace to lose. Dean had gotten another room for the two of them, which Sam realized now wasn’t the best idea.

He turned his attention back to Gabriel. Was he human now? An archangel still, but powerless? He didn’t know, and he couldn’t ask him, not when he was like this.

When the coffee was ready he dumped four sugar packets into it and brought it out to Gabriel. His hands were shaking so badly Sam had to help him hold the cup, and he had a feeling it was more than cold, more even than physical shock. He’d never seen Gabriel so vulnerable, and it scared the shit out of him.

When Gabriel finished the coffee Sam put the mug on the bedside table. “Are you–” he stopped, not knowing how to complete the question without sounding like an idiot, an asshole, or both.

Gabriel shook his head and his hand wormed its way into Sam’s. “Stay with me?”

Sam’s chest constricted, and he nodded.

***

“What the hell _were_ those things?” Dean demanded. Cas was sitting on the bed, slumped over, breathing like he’d run four miles.

“Creatures that feed on supernatural energy.”

“Super…wait, so your mojo…”

“Is completely gone, yes.”

“But you’re…” Dean waved a hand around. “You’re conscious, and you’re talking. Gabriel’s knocked flat.”

Cas looked up at him, a crease between his eyebrows. “Gabriel had all of his Grace taken from him at once. Mine has been slowly leaching away over the past months. I had less to lose than Gabriel did and I’ve…gotten used to it, as much as one can.”

“So you’re human now?” Dean demanded. Bad enough Cas had been losing his mojo, to have it just _gone,_ poof, and Gabriel’s too, would be a major setback in the anti-Apocalypse department. Not to mention the only time he’d seen Cas looking like that…well, he’d been human then, too, and Dean didn’t want him going down that road.

“In essence, yes.”

Dean hesitated, then asked awkwardly, “You gonna be alright?”

“I believe so, once I have had time to adjust.”

“What about Gabriel?”

Castiel frowned. “I’m not sure. He’s reacted to losing his Grace more severely, as you said. The shock might kill him.”

“Kill him? But he’s–” Dean cut himself off. Gabriel wasn’t an archangel anymore, not technically. “Is there any way to fix it? Give you back your mojo?”

Cas nodded. “Yes. But it will be difficult.”

“Difficult’s better than impossible.”

***

Gabriel had finally fallen asleep, and Sam was on his laptop, researching visivores. So far he’d found jack shit, especially since Gabriel was restless and he kept getting up to check on him.

There was a knock at the door. Sam pulled out his gun and opened it.

Dean raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment. Cas trailed him into the room, looking pale and wan.

“Is he OK?”

Sam snorted. “Uh, yeah, no. He lost his Grace and he’s freaking out, not to mention in shock.”

Dean nodded. “He tell you anything?”

Sam shrugged. “Just that those things eat supernatural energy and sucked out his Grace. It wasn’t like he was in any shape for a long lecture on the subject.”

Dean nodded. “According to Cas we can get it back.”

“Can you?” Sam demanded, then, guiltily, “How are you doing, anyway?” Cas had lost his Grace too, and just because he wasn’t huddled in bed didn’t mean he wasn’t feeling it.

“I am fine, Sam.”

He wasn’t sure whether to believe him, but they had more important things to worry about. “So you said we can fix this?”

Cas nodded. “Yes, but it won’t be easy. If we destroy the visivores, all the energy they’ve taken in should revert to its original source.”

“The demons too?” Dean wanted to know.

“Most likely, but without vessels they shouldn’t be able to do anyone any harm.”

“One of them came after me,” Sam remembered.

Cas nodded. “Once it was finished with us it would move on to the next source of supernatural power. It would be able to sense the demon blood you were fed as a baby and that you’ve drunk since.”

Sam shuddered at the thought of what could have happened. “So how do we stop them?”

***

They needed to gather several rare or expensive ingredients and some more common ones to destroy the visivores. Powdered clear quartz they could get. Rubies were more of a problem. They needed hawthorne leaves, orris root, rosemary and asafetida, plus several eastern herbs with unpronounceable names that were nearly impossible to find.

Dean and Cas took care of most of that, although Dean bitched about touchy-feely New-Age hippie whatevers.

Sam stayed with Gabriel. The first night he’d woken up screaming, and hadn’t calmed down until Sam climbed into bed next to him. He’d shaken for almost half an hour before falling asleep again.

Even during the day he was…well, _clingy._ He wasn’t happy unless Sam was in his line of sight, and he was always touching Sam’s shoulder or arm or holding his hand.

Sam did his best to provide comfort where he could. Gabriel kept having nightmares, so he gave up trying to sleep in the other bed, curling up next to Gabriel and stroking his back. It was…nice, in a way. Not what had happened. That was horrible, and he wasn’t happy about it at all. But the last time he’d had this sort of closeness with somebody was when Jess was alive, and he’d missed it. That, and it was nice to be needed.

But one night he woke up to the feeling of lips on his forehead.

“Hnnh?” He blinked, focusing on Gabriel. “Wha–?”

Gabriel kissed him on the lips this time, and Sam shoved him back. “No!”

“Sam–”

“No! You’re not yourself, I’m not doing this!” It was one thing to sleep next to Gabriel, but sex…

“I don’t want sex.”

Sam blinked, momentarily forgetting that Gabriel hadn’t read his mind. “Then what do you want?”

“I…the chances of this working are almost nonexistent. I’m looking at being human for the rest of my life. And the fact that I even have to contemplate a ‘rest of my life’ terrifies me more than I care to admit.” He took a shuddering breath. “Even when I’d left Heaven, I was still aware of it, of everything in it. I masked my Grace, but I could still feel the others. Now…”

Abruptly, Sam got it. Gabriel was alone, in a way he couldn’t begin to understand. He was freaked out and lonely, and probably angry with himself for letting this happen. He didn’t want sex. He wanted closeness.

So Sam put his arms around Gabriel, and let Gabriel kiss him, softly. He’d expected desperation, but this slow, despair-flavored kiss was almost worse.

He stroked Gabriel’s back and kissed his forehead, threaded his hands through his hair. He refused to think about how much he was enjoying this.

Gabriel quieted eventually, sighing and falling back asleep. Sam looked down at himself in disgust, trying to will the bulge in his boxers away.

***

A few days after that they’d gathered everything. Every night Gabriel would kiss him and Sam would hush him into sleep, and most nights Sam got hard. He hated himself for it, even though he wasn’t about to take advantage of Gabriel. Luckily Gabriel seemed to be too out-of-it to notice.

Dean dumped a pile of flowers, leaves and small stones on the table. “Time to put ’em together.”

He and Cas had managed to find enough for three small bags. Cas ground up the herbs in a mortar and pestle and Sam and Dean powdered the stones, which was a bitch to do. By the time they’d finished it was evening.

“So we go after these sons of bitches in the morning,” Dean said, tucking the bag in his pocket.

Sam nodded.

***

Gabriel woke up to light streaming in the window and the sound of raised voices. He was alone in the bed.

“I should go with you! There’s no telling how many visivores there are.”

“No way, Cas! I’m not giving this thing another shot at you! It’s bad enough Sam’s coming, and he’s trained in hand-to-hand.”

“But–”

“Cas.” That was Sam’s voice. “Someone has to stay with Gabriel.”

Castiel sighed. “Very well.”

“Fine. Let’s go, Sammy.”

“Gimme a sec, would you?”

Sam came from behind the barrier masking the door and sat on the edge of the other bed. “We’re gonna go.”

“Don’t,” he pleaded.

Sam blinked. “What?”

“Cas is right, you don’t know how many of them there are. If they got you…” He had a newfound appreciation for mortality, and just how dangerous the Winchesters’ job was. He’d rather spend the rest of his life as a pathetic weakling than lose Sam.

“If they get me Lucifer’s out a meatsuit and the Apocalypse can’t go forward. Win-win.” Gabriel knew that look. It was the same look Sam had worn at the Mystery Spot: there was no changing his mind. “We’ll get them, Gabriel, don’t worry.”

Gabriel snorted.

Sam got up to leave, and Gabriel grabbed his wrist. “Be careful.”

Sam nodded and squeezed his hand and Gabriel let go of him reluctantly .

***

The next few hours were the worst Gabriel had ever spent. Cas was silent beside him, as worried as he was. Half the time he was convinced that Sam and Dean were both dead. He obsessed over what those things would do to Sam if they got their hands on him.

But finally, after nearly five hours, he felt a sudden rush of energy that left him dizzy. A moment later Cas gasped.

Gabriel took stock of himself. He could feel Cas beside him, his fading Grace faint but unmistakable. He snapped his fingers and a glass of water appeared in his hand.

“They did it,” he said wonderingly.

Cas looked over at him and said simply, “Of course they did.”

***

Sam trudged into the motel room. There had been three visivores, not two, and no way of telling which ones had gone after Cas and Gabriel. He hoped they got them all and that Gabriel and Cas were back to normal.

He looked around to see Cas sitting on one of the beds. The room was otherwise empty.

“Where’s Gabriel?” Sam demanded, his heart racing. Had something gone wrong?

“Gone.”

“What do you mean ‘gone’?”

“He departed once his Grace was restored.”

“So it worked? Your mojo’s back?” Dean cut in.

“My Grace has been restored to its prior level.”

“So it’s still fading,” Sam translated and Cas nodded.

Dean sighed. “Well, better than nothing, I guess.”

***

They didn’t see Gabriel for several weeks, and when he finally showed up it was just to help them with a job. It went on like that–as soon as the job was done Gabriel was gone, and he went out of his way to avoid being alone with Sam.

He hadn’t been around much when he’d first joined Team Free Will, but in the past few months he’d stuck around after the hunts to watch B horror movies on Pay-Per-View, or tell them which buffet had the biggest dessert bar. Now they hardly ever saw him.

Sam missed him. He missed the closeness they’d had when Gabriel lost his Grace, but he missed seeing him even more. Every time he tried to corner him Gabriel vanished.

He was getting irritable, and Dean had noticed.

“Dude, what’s got your panties in a bunch?” he demanded as Sam glared at the space where Gabriel had just been.

“He could at least be grateful! I mean, if it weren’t for us he wouldn’t be _able_ to vanish like that!”

Dean made a noncommittal noise.

***

Three days later, after Gabriel had appeared and vanished _again,_ Sam was so pissed he punched the wall of the motel room.

 _“Fuck!”_ OK, not one of his brightest ideas.

He looked at his hand. It was throbbing and smarting like a bitch, and it would probably be bruised and swollen tomorrow, but he could move his fingers, so he hadn’t broken anything with his little tantrum. Except the wall. There was a dent in the plaster they’d probably have to pay for, and wouldn’t Dean be _so_ pleased about that.

“Sam?”

He jumped, whirling around at the voice coming from an empty room. “ _Jeez–_ Oh. Hey Cas.”

The angel nodded to him, then said, “You’ve hurt your hand.”

He blushed. “Uh…yeah. I may have…um…punched the wall,” he mumbled.

Castiel cocked his head. “Why would you do that?”

Sam stared at him. “You don’t get frustrated much, do you?”

Cas smiled slightly. “Never, until I met Dean.”

Sam couldn’t help but smile back at that, but then he sighed. “It’s Gabriel. Ever since he got his Grace back he’s been disappearing as soon as the job’s done. I don’t even know why he’s still helping us,” he finished quietly.

“He said he would. No matter what he might have been in the past he was an angel first, and angels keep their word.”

“But why is he avoiding me? What did I do?” That was the crux of it. Sam was so used to screwing things up that he couldn’t help thinking this was his fault too.

“I doubt you did anything, Sam. The loss of his Grace affected Gabriel deeply.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ve never seen him like that.”

Cas nodded. “Am I right in assuming that he did and said things he would not have under any other circumstances?”

“Yeah, he did. But what–”

“Gabriel has been wearing the façade of a Trickster for so long it has become almost second nature. He has begun to shed that façade recently, but he still is not comfortable sharing his thoughts.”

Sam suddenly got it, and wanted to kick himself for not figuring it out on his own. “You’re saying he was vulnerable when he lost his Grace and said too much and now he’s, what? Angry? Ashamed? Scared?”

“I suspect some of all three. And he’s avoiding you in particular since you were the one he spent the most time with.”

“I need to talk to him. But if he’s avoiding me…”

“You might try calling him.”

Sam nodded. “I will.”

***

 

He waited until Dean was asleep that night before leaving the motel room and locking the door behind him.

He stood in the middle of the parking lot, feeling stupid. He didn’t even know if Gabriel could hear him with the sigils Cas had put on his ribs. But then Cas was the one who’d suggested calling him, so it should work. “Gabriel?”

No one answered him. There was a noticeable absence of archangels.

He tried again. _Gabriel!_

There was a flutter of wings, and suddenly the newest member of Team Free Will was standing in front of him, spitting mad. “What do _you_ want?”

“I want to talk,” Sam said softly.

“I have nothing to say to you, _Sammy!_ ”

Sam winced, but didn’t give up. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

Gabriel snorted. “Yeah, so? I’ve been helping with your little crusade. Don’t see why I should have to go out for drinks afterward.”

“I miss you.”

Gabriel’s face softened for a moment before he snarled, “Like I care?”

Sam ignored the flash of pain that went through him at that. “Yeah, you do.”

“What makes you think you know me, Winchester?”

Sam took a deep breath. Gabriel was angry, and only getting angrier. He’d have to make a better argument than he ever had in any of his law classes or risk alienating him completely. “I don’t. But I’d like to.”

Gabriel laughed. “You couldn’t comprehend a tenth of what I am!”

Sam shrugged. “So what about what I can comprehend? You didn’t decide to help us just to prove a point to Dean. And you were happy hanging out with us.”

Gabriel suddenly got in his face. “If you have something to say, say it! But let me tell you now, what happened? It sucked, royally, but whatever I said, whatever I did, it wasn’t me! I would never have done that if I’d been in my right mind. I don’t do intimacy, or the whole chick-flick, share-your-feelings thing. I’m not a damsel in distress, I _don’t_ need a knight in shining armor, and whatever fucked-up notions you’re currently harboring, forget them!”

Sam shoved him against the wall. “I’m perfectly aware of that, thank you. You don’t do intimacy, you don’t do honesty, and you don’t do vulnerability. But you did, regardless of the circumstances, and I refuse to believe that wasn’t you!”

Gabriel snarled at him and shoved him off, and there was suddenly light coming off him, bright enough to cast a faint shadow. “This conversation is over.”

The parking lot went dark again as Gabriel vanished, and Sam stared at the spot where he’d been before slumping against the wall.

***

He’d handled that wrong, he realized that even before Gabriel left, and over the next week or so he realized exactly why. If Gabriel was feeling angry and defensive being confrontational was the _last_ thing Sam should have done, but dammit, he wouldn’t _listen!_

Gabriel had avoided them entirely after that night. Dean muttered about how they should have known better than to depend on a Trickster, and that he’d probably gotten bored and was lounging on a beach somewhere while the world burned.

Sam figured he’d never see Gabriel again, never get a chance to explain. He went on hunting things with Dean and Cas and ignored the feeling that he was being watched, figuring it was his imagination.

But it didn’t go away, so he finally asked Cas about it.

“Gabriel is keeping an eye on us. Or, more specifically, on you.”

“Why?”

“As a Trickster, it’s in his nature not to let go of something that interests him. As an angel, he knows you’re doing the right thing, and he doesn’t want to let you do it on your own.”

“But he never does anything! What do I have to do to get him to show up, get horribly injured?”

“I wouldn’t suggest it,” Cas said, looking slightly alarmed.

Sam sighed. “Yeah, I know.”

***

In the end it wasn’t Sam who got hurt, but Dean. He zigged when he should have zagged, and got slashed across the gut.

They’d managed to stop the bleeding, although Sam was worried about sepsis. Cas had to threaten to freeze him in place to get him to stay in bed while he healed.

Sam felt entirely superfluous. Cas hovered over Dean, cleaning the bandages, making sure he ate and keeping him from getting bored. Sam wondered what exactly had gone on between them when Cas had lost his Grace, since this was beyond normal concern, beyond even their normal moony-eyed behavior. He decided it didn’t really matter, except he had nothing to do.

He decided to go to the library, to get away from Dean and Cas.

He had his nose buried in a book of Babylonian summoning spells when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

He looked up to see Gabriel standing behind him. “What are you doing here?” he blurted out without thinking.

“How’s Dean?” Gabriel asked, pulling out the chair next to him and sitting down.

Sam sighed. “Not good. He should be in a hospital but–”

“But he’s Dean, and able to come up with several entirely plausible reasons why that would be a Bad Idea.”

Sam smiled at that, lightning-quick, then sobered. “I’m sorry. About before. I shouldn’t have–”

“Can we not talk about that?” Gabriel cut him off, and Sam nodded, putting the book away. He needed to get back.

***

Gabriel followed him back to the motel.

“What are you doing here?” Dean demanded.

“Well, since you obviously can’t keep yourselves safe without me around I figured I’d patch you up.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed, but he let Gabriel come close to the bed.

He put his hands on Dean’s stomach and a gold-white light emanated from them. It faded after a long moment and then Dean sat up, cautiously.

Cas turned away.

***

Gabriel stuck around after that, and didn’t leave after the hunts were over. He was wary around Sam at first, but when he showed no sign of bringing up what had happened when Gabriel had lost his Grace he relaxed.

Things were more or less like they had been before, except that Dean and Cas were acting lovey-dovey. It wasn’t anything anyone would notice, but Sam knew his brother, and for Dean he was acting like someone out of a Meg Ryan movie. Cas was always invading his personal space, but now Dean was doing it right back, or else throwing his arm around Cas’ shoulders in a jovial, oh-so-macho way and steering him along. Sam hadn’t missed the fact that Dean was “accidentally” brushing hands with Cas nearly every two minutes either.

Gabriel had noticed it too, and when Dean brushed off Cas’ coat after a fight he caught Sam’s eye and smirked. Sam rolled his eyes and shrugged.

Sam had promised not to talk about what happened when Gabriel lost his Grace, but talking would be inadequate anyway. So when Dean and Cas were off getting takeout (they hadn’t had time to hustle since the Apocalypse started, and they were getting close to the credit limit on their current cards so they couldn’t afford diner food), Sam sat on the bed next to Gabriel.

Gabriel tensed, but didn’t move. When Sam laid his head on his shoulder, though, Gabriel shrugged him off. “What are you doing?”

“I told you before I missed you. I missed being close to you.”

“I don’t do closeness,” Gabriel said, getting up.

Sam nodded. “Yeah, you said. You’re more like Dean, one-night-stand guy. Although lately it looks like Dean’s settling down.”

Gabriel shrugged. “What can I say? I don’t like strings.”

Sam swallowed. “And if there weren’t strings?”

Gabriel snorted mirthlessly. “You don’t do casual sex, Sammy.”

“I’d be willing to.” _If that’s all I could get._

Gabriel shook his head angrily. “No! It wouldn’t work!”

“I notice you haven’t said you don’t want to.”

“I don’t do relationships.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. It sounded like Gabriel was trying to convince himself. Tired of Gabriel not listening to him, he leaned forward and kissed him, hard.

Gabriel made a surprised noise and pushed him off. “What the fuck is _wrong_ with you?!”

“You’re being too pigheaded and stubborn to listen to what I’m telling you, and it’s pissing me off, that’s what’s wrong!” Sam retorted.

Gabriel sagged suddenly, all the indignation going out of him. “But…I don’t…”

“If you can look me in the eye and tell me you’re not attracted to me then I’ll never bring it up again.”

“It would never work!”

“Why not?” Sam demanded.

“Leaving aside the whole angel/human thing, which is a big fucking deal, believe me, I _know,_ you want to settle down and I don’t.”

“Dean and Cas worked it out.”

Gabriel snorted. “Yeah, but Dean’s a player by environment and circumstance more than inclination. I’m not.”

“You’ve never been in love?” Sam asked curiously.

“That is none of your fucking business, Winchester,” Gabriel snapped.

Sam held up his hands. “Sorry.”

“But, yeah. A few times. I’ve been on Earth a long time. Not eager to repeat the experience.”

Sam could understand that completely. He’d been without Jess for less than five years, and probably would only live another ten at most, assuming they averted the Apocalypse. And he hadn’t had Jess for that long. To love someone, watch them grow old and die and have to go on alone afterwards, forever… “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up…”

Gabriel let out a long sigh. “It’s fine.”

Sam put a hand on the back of his neck, and Gabriel shrugged it off. “I don’t want your pity!”

“How about my sympathy? I’ve lost people I cared about too.”

Gabriel looked at him for a long moment. “Yeah, I guess you have.”

“If it really were no strings attached…”

Gabriel shook his head. “You couldn’t do it. And neither could I,” he finished, so softly Sam almost didn’t hear him.

Sam nodded, but when he kissed Gabriel again the archangel didn’t resist.

Gabriel pulled away. “I don’t do relationships.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Gabriel kissed him again, licking into his mouth, then moved down his jaw to nip at his neck. Sam tipped his head back to give him better access.

Gabriel pulled his shirt off, kissing down his neck and skating his teeth over Sam’s collarbone, tracing Sam’s tattoo with his tongue. Sam’s breath hitched, and his fingers fastened in Gabriel’s hair.

Gabriel’s lips fastened over his nipple and Sam whined, arching up. He didn’t know what was wrong with him…Gabriel was right, he didn’t do casual sex. But then he figured this was about the farthest he could get from casual.

Gabriel’s hand slid down his stomach, cupping him through his jeans and Sam whined again. Gabriel unfastened his jeans, without stopping his attentions to Sam’s chest; Sam lifted up and Gabriel pulled his jeans down over his hips.

Now he finally moved further down, teasing Sam’s navel as he worked his pants down and off. Sam spread his legs as Gabriel took him in.

He was slow, maddeningly so, but Sam knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose. He arched his hips up, just a little, and Gabriel’s lips moved down from where they were sucking at the head until his nose was pressed to Sam’s stomach.

He moved back off again, mouthing along the shaft, moving down to nuzzle Sam’s balls, blowing on the tip and licking off the bead of precome gathered there. Sam gasped and his hips thrust up. “Gabriel…”

Gabriel sucked him down again, and in a moment Sam was coming down his throat. It took a long moment before he recovered and pulled Gabriel up. He tried to kiss him, but Gabriel resisted.

Sam sighed, and reached for his jeans, opening them and stroking him slowly.

“No.” And Gabriel’s hand went to cover his, moving it faster, harder, hard enough to hurt.

Sam was going to object, but Gabriel glared at him, so he kept up the punishing rhythm until Gabriel arched against him and sighed, “ _Sam!_ ”

Gabriel collapsed on top of him. “I don’t do relationships,” he repeated.

“I know.”

But Gabriel didn’t move off him, and when Sam stroked his hair he sighed.


End file.
